The Four Agreements by Don Miguel - A Review

Introduction

In November 2021, I read the four agreements by Don Miguel. In this article, I will summarize the most important points and then talk about my personal takeaways while reviewing this book.

The book is, as the title says, about four agreements a person needs to make with themselves. The four agreements are very hard to uphold, especially the first one. The author tells us to re-sign the agreement with ourselves if we ever break it. It requires a lot of practice, patience, dedication and strength to perfect them.

Agreement 1: Be impeccable with your word

The word impeccable means “without sin”. In other words, you should not sin with your words. Your words are like a double-edged sword. They can either make your life and your surroundings as wonderful as a dream or it can also destroy your life. The author takes the example of Hitler, who with his convincing speeches made people turn against each other and caused the second world war. A word first originates in the mind before it is being said. Therefore, it does not matter which language you speak, but what matters, is the intention behind the word. So one must learn to control their thoughts before speaking the word. The author describes the mind as a bare garden in which the thoughts are seeds. One must plant positive thoughts in order to make life wonderful. Of course, it is also possible to plant negative thoughts. We must see to it that the mind does not make place for negative thoughts. The mind is deeply connected to the subconscious and the consciousness above it. Each thought that is being planted will be accumulated and these thoughts are then manifested into the events that happen in a person’s life.

I have always been careful with my words, however, I do realize that I am sometimes way too straightforward and due to this, I may hurt people unintentionally. The first agreement is the hardest to practice and uphold but I am trying and with every day that passes, I am trying to have better conversations, better interactions and better thoughts.

Agreement 2: Don’t take anything personally

This agreement is about distancing yourself mentally and emotionally from a certain situation. When someone talks about you, they are in fact talking about themselves. They are the people who are very insecure about themselves. The moment you agree (agreeing can also mean you getting hurt or you feel pain, or you’re thinking too much about it) with what the other person says to you, you are taking it personally. This concept especially applies to destructive criticism.

I was going through a tough time when I came across this book. This second agreement was the one that not only gave me a pep talk, but also consoled me. It gave me the energy to fight back and I was actually able to distance myself emotionally. I felt much better once I distanced myself from the situation.

Agreement 3: Don’t make assumptions

Assumptions are the cause for misunderstanding. Do not leave any room for any assumptions. You can prevent yourself from making assumptions by asking questions up to the point where there is absolutely no room for doubt. Your mind must be completely clear. The proverb “Don’t judge a book by its cover” exemplifies this agreement. By judging someone or something, you are making assumptions. Of course, it is difficult to not do so, however, you can train yourself otherwise. Your mind will be free from judgement and you will be open for new experiences.

I have a bad habit of making assumptions and I need to change that. The third agreement is very important for my personal and professional growth. By abiding to this agreement, I become open to new experiences and different points of view.

Agreement 4: Always do your best

This agreement is quite simple. Every day, try to make the best out of your time. Keep in mind that your “best” changes every single day, in every moment of your life. Regardless of the situation, perform your best. That way, you can avoid criticizing yourself. On some days, you may be better than your best, but on other days, when you are feeling down, your best will be completely different. Doing your best will bring you personal satisfaction. Try asking yourself this question: “Given the current circumstances I am in right now, have I done my best?” The answer must be yes. If not, try pushing yourself until you feel that you have done your best.

This is the advice I have always received from my father. I try to implement it every day, but I do realize that this agreement goes for every aspect in my life and not just my studies or any other academic activities.

Review

This book is one of the best self-development books I have ever read and I will probably read it again and again to remind myself of these agreements. The four concepts were explained very neatly. This book motivates you to stick to the agreements. I dare to say that this book summarizes the concepts in the Bhagwat Gita in a very concise way. It pulled me out of my struggles and gave me the strength to fight back. To stand up and to do my best.

Conclusion

I think that sticking to the four agreements is like building a new habit. In my next review, I will talk about how small habits can drastically impact and change your life for the better. The four agreements can easily be paired with the book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. Practicing the four agreements is no easy task. I will start and continue practicing the four agreements. One day, I will look back at this article and maybe I’ll be able to say that my life has changed for the better.

On this note, I hope that you can integrate the four agreements in your life and practice them too.

Thank you for reading.

Up next: Atomic Habits by James Clear, Show Your Work by Austin Kleon